Posts Tagged ‘animals’
Recently I saw a picture on my Facebook page that attempted to explain all the various social media. It went something like this:
Twitter: I need to pee.
Facebook: I peed.
Foursquare: This is where I pee.
Quora: Why am I peeing?
YouTube: Look at this pee!
LinkedIn: I’m good at peeing.
A lot of people found the mock-post actually useful for explaining the various websites, but personally, I thought something was missing. Where was Pinterest? There are so many options for this . . .
Let’s start with a little history – the term “vegetarian” may not come from the word ‘vegetable’. Some say it’s from the Hindu term for ‘to enlighten’. I think this may be a typo, perhaps they meant ‘to lighten’. Look, I’m a proud omnivore, and here’s why.
First, you vegetarians need to get together and make a freakin’ decision. Do you eat fish and chicken or not? According to Websters, Random House, Wikipedia and the Encyclopedia of Witchcraft (hey, it’s what I had on hand), the term means ‘eats no meat, fish or fowl.’ Yeah, they all say ‘no fish or fowl’ – so don’t tell me you’re a vegetarian, then say, ‘but I eat fish’.
Also, that ‘fish and birds are okay’ thing isn’t right. It’s flat out discrimination. Even if you are a vegetarian, you know or are one of those people who think it’s not okay to hurt the animals. So why is it okay to hurt the birdies and the swimmy things? Because they aren’t as cute?
Humans have this problem where we seem to think cute things are closer to God. That’s BS. Didn’t God make the ugly things, too? I don’t recall any points in the Bible where it says it’s okay to eat the ugly things, or any point where any of the disciples said “But I can’t eat it, it’s sooo cute.”
There’s always some old lady out there, thinking she and her friends are God’s designated judges of good taste. And the words out of her mouth are almost always “That’s just tacky.”
But what is tacky, really? And why does tackiness change with the region of the country?
Think about it, in Florida there are lawn flamingos. Pink birds, often with whirligig arms that do nothing but look . . . well, tacky. These often go hand in hand with the sofa on the front porch and maybe a car up on cinderblocks. Well you need something to look at from your Lanai. (That’s Floridian for what the rest of us call a screened-in porch.)
If you go to the Midwest, they have cows. Fake ones. Sometimes these are clearly something an enterprising soul cut from plywood and just painted up. Sometimes these are life-size, life-like reproductions, done well enough to make you turn your head as you drive by and ask yourself “Was there a cow just hanging out in that front yard?” It’s always disappointing when you realize you’ve been had.